Hello! New month, new hair..... ^_^ You like? :/ Those who know me after 2011 wouldn't recognise me as I haven't had bangs this short since 2 years ago lol
I have been very lost at the beginning of this year, so I had sought ways to find myself, to find the purpose of my daily living. I had thought I lost the ability to love, I had thought I was tired of giving more than taking. I was tired of being sad all the time, and then putting up a happy front in front of peers.
But in these few months I have made drastic changes (not only did I grow out my hair, dye it in a few different colours over the span of 10 months, to cut it short and go brown again) to myself, the people around me, and who I love. In decisions I make without thinking about pleasing others then myself, making mistakes and learning them the hard way here and there.
I want to thank those people who I have approached personally for help and guidance, to find back a direction, a new perspective towards life. They probably wouldn't know because I have never made it transparent what I was going through and how they play a part in helping me find answers to questions I simply cannot get after many sleepless nights. (Escapist, mysterious Pisces syndrome) No matter if they are currently in my life or not anymore (no contact, not dead), I am thankful for everything I have experienced, be it while I travel, or while I became bound to Singapore (not being able to fly due to citizenship renunciation procedures, by the way, I still am -_-). It has been a quick yet eventful year being 21, and I can confidently say I am ready for 2014.
No I am not yet 'enlightened'. I still have unresolved issues within, maybe even more than I had begin with when I started this journey at the start of the year (some time before my birthday). I am not yet absolutely stable in a boy-girl relationship nor do I have a stable active income (full time job or what not), but I managed to find back the ability to love unconditionally once again without fear of all that negative emotions of uncertainty, hurt, fear, inferiority, complacency etc., I have gradually accepted a stream of income from events and dance and participated in a business club with steady passive income (slowly building my savings for future), and best of all, I learn to love myself better, and be alone without feeling lonely. This year has been so fruitful for my soul and I am really looking forward to a good November ahead, no matter the accumulating school work and the nearing of graduation which means going into a new phase of my life once again. I am very happy I have matured a lot mentally this year. Guess this is a part of growing up, everyonee eventually enters this phase. I am still Poon Wing Yan, but I grew up. You will be able to tell if you talk to me one-to-one, heart-to-heart. Before it is too late, you should reflect on your life and start making yourself happy too. =)
