Hello, sorry I have been away. I was facing the first funeral in my life of a loved one this month and after that, it was all about trying to get back into a normal life. There's no good time for events like that, but I guess falling on a joyous month December helped a lot to put on a smile back on my face.
There have been many thoughts, some of which I blocked out because I simply don't have the time to think into it, and some triggered by conversations with others about the reality of managing the concepts of living and dying. I wouldn't say as of now my thoughts are sorted out, but I have come to a state that I will not cry endlessly anymore, I will not grief that way. I will carry on with my life, so as to not neglect the ones that are still living and once in a while, take out memories of the deceased and appreciate what I have, be it physically present or in memories.
This period made me realise who are the ones that care; who are the ones who knows me and know that they have to approach me to show that they love me, and to let me remember who to love when my heart was breaking for my maternal grandmother. I took some time to prepare Christmas gifts and cards and felt good. It made me happy to be able to see the smiles on their faces at this occasion of giving. To receive, you first have to give, selflessly. I will be thinking of some new year resolutions soon, for I have been carrying this tradition for the many years ever since I started blogging. Remember to tell them you love them. :)
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