I can't think straight right now.



I really wonder, if those moments of happiness were really worth this extent of pain?
Silly of girls that scarred their arms for life, but truth is, inflicting real pain on skin really seems to be able to slightly distract oneself from the internal pain that pierces from to surface of one's heart to the deepest part of one's soul. That is, if they were cutting for that purpose and not for the sake of attention. Which makes me want to explain... Sometimes one just needs a particular one's attention, but in order for that, one got to make the whole world know about the cutting for that one to notice and take action. For the one to care and ask one to stop. And sometimes when one cuts, everything suddenly seems to be on pause. Nothing else matters, only the blood matters. That is also one of the comforts one get.

But the ultimate comfort would be, to cut deeper, to cut too deep...
So that darkness seeps in and one will be able to hear only silence and hopefully peace, forever.